As much as there is a little part of me that would love to admit I was up in the club because my ex and I had just broken up, and I was doing my own little thing...that's not my story.
A few weeks ago, a close friend said something to the effect of "Single girls have it easy!". Having been a mother and married for some years now, I'm sure she would be able to come up with various reasons to justify her assertion. However, my experiences since becoming single again have left me feeling a little ambivalent about my current relationship status and, as a result, perhaps about my future as well.
I'll be traveling to celebrate my birthday in a few weeks. The notion that I don't have to mull that decision over with a partner or make any sort of arrangements more than finding a dog sitter is quite freeing. I appreciate the ability to have that "get up and go" mentality without the need to explain anything to anyone. From that perspective, maybe my friend was right. Maybe single girls do have it easy. Go us!!!
On the other hand, I would be a total liar if I didn't say that there aren't moments when I wish there was someone around to help me make those tough decisions...like which throw pillows to get for the sofa or how to handle lawn maintenance now that spring-like weather has awakened the weeds in my yard. Perhaps on a deeper level, having someone there for those just because moments that in my opinion, have been the highlight of my past relationships, wouldn't be so bad.
Dating since my last relationship has resulted in what feels like a constant internal battle between being open to entertaining guys that I otherwise might not be interested in, often under the notion that things don't always come the way we expect them to, and at the very same time, not wanting to settle for anything less that what really makes me happy. What's a girl to do with that, right?
I have no idea. But what I do know is that it seems to bother people when you say that a part of you is OK with the thought of being alone based on that fear of settling. You may as well be telling them you're sprouting an extra limb. "You just haven't found the right person yet," they'll say. "You just have to be patient," they'll say. "You don't mean that," they'll say.
But I do. A fragment of my being means it...and I think that should be OK. I guess the debate of who has it easier really is one of those "it all depends on how you look at it" issues.
Single. Taken. Who cares, we're all awesome.